A saint. An absolute saint....

Removal Home in Cork

Mary: *Blesses herself* Ah look at him lying there. I can't believe he's gone.

Sheila: *Blesses herself* I know Mary. A lovely man he was.

Mary: A saint Sheila, an absolute saint. God only takes the good ones.

Sheila: I know Mary. Not a bad bone in his body, bless him.

Mary: And never a bad word to say about anyone.

Sheila: Never. A diamond he was. A pure diamond.

[30 second silence]

Mary: Fond of the odd tipple though

Sheila:  He was. He was indeed. A lovely man though, god bless him and save him. But he liked his few drinks.

Mary: He did. A good soul through and through though, bless him.

Sheila: Pure goodness Mary. Good to the core. I'd always see him coming out of Hoggy's Bar there of a Sunday night.

Mary: That's right Sheila. And Mondays and Tuesdays too. Sure bless us and save us he looks like he's only asleep.

Sheila: A sleeping angel is what he is. Sure he never looked better Mary.

Mary: I was thinking the same. He looks handsome. A vision. They did a great job with him.

Sheila: Hoggy's?

Mary: No Sheila, the undertakers.

Sheila: They did. He looks the exact same as the day he got married.

Mary: He's like a Confirmation boy, God bless him. A bit red around the nose though. That'll be the drink. As you said Sheila, he was fond of his drink.

Sheila: He was, bless him. I'd be on me way to the bingo there of a Friday night and I'd see him coming out of Hoggy's.

Mary: That's right. Thursdays too, I'd go down for me bag of chips and he'd be falling out of the place paralytic drunk.

Sheila: Fierce grá altogether for the drink.

Mary: Mad for it Sheila. Morning, noon and night he was in that bar.

Sheila: I hear he put yer man Hoggy's kids through college.

Mary: I'd believe it. A fierce tongue on him too.

Sheila: Swore like a trooper so he did.

Mary: Lovely man though.

Sheila: An angel. And a fine hard-working husband he was too to Una.

Mary: He was indeed. Got laid off in '81. Never worked a day again. A tragedy.

Sheila: That's right. Lived in the pub since May '81. A gas character.

Mary: I'd say he gave yer one Una an awful life though.

Sheila: I dunno how she put up with it. Drinking all the hours God sent him.

Mary: Lovely man though. He liked to put the odd ol' bet on the horses too. A bit of craic I suppose.

Sheila: Ah that's right. He'd be down Paddy Powers on a Saturday morning putting his couple of euro on the horses.

Mary: A fiver each-way.

Sheila: That's right, bless him. And weekdays too. Queueing up outside the betting shop. Jesus mary and joseph he was mad for the horses.

Mary: He was indeed Sheila, he was indeed. I hear he put Paddy Power's kids through college too. Remember back in '92 he won 100 pound in the Grand National?

Sheila: Sure how could I forget? He was drunk for two weeks. Poor Una nearly burned the house down with all the night lights, praying for him to come home.

Mary: That's right. The guards found him eventually down the side alley of Hoggy's, comatose, after soiling himself.

Sheila: Lovely man though. Oh the Rosary's starting Mary. Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?

Mary: Course I am girl. Course I am. Sure wasn't he a saint?

Sheila: An angel he was. Pure goodness to the core. Hail Mary full of Grace.........