First Date. The Day After...

THE GIRLS:

Sharon: Well? I've been dying to know how you got on girl.

Mags: Oh Sharon I swear to god it was unreal. Just amazing.

S: Go on outta that. Really?

M: Really.

S: What did he look like? Was he the same as his profile pic?

M: Even nicer girl. He had clothes on obviously like 'cause you know in his profile pic he’s just wearing shorts 'cause he’s working out like.

S: Oh I know yeah. So you’d a great night?

M: Best night ever. I never felt anything like it. 

S: Oh my god hun. Tell me everything. 

M: It was like magic Shaz. Pure magic.

S: Go way outta that? Really? 

M: Really. At one stage Shaz we just stared into each other’s eyes. It was like the whole world stopped girl. The whole feckin world. Just him and me looking into each others...... souls (voice cracks).

S: Oh Mags I'm gonna cry hun. That's beautiful. (Reaches out to take Mags hand).

M: I know (eyes fill up). It was like a dream Shaz. It's all sorta blurry like a beautiful dream.

S: You were probably pissed though.

M: Ah yeah I was like a bit but...... look I know it sounds dumb Shaz but.... well.... I think I love him.

(Sharon jumps up, throws her arms around Mags. They both scream in delight)

S: So you’re gonna see him again?

M: Course I am girl.

S: But what about that thing he said when you were texting? That he’s only looking for a bit of fun?

M: Ah I know yeah but that was before he met me. I could tell he was weak for me like.

S: And you’re not worried anymore about his username on the dating site?

M: No girl. That was just his sense of humour. He’s a scream girl. I'd say he was horny alright though, hahahaha. But Horny&Looking4BigGirls was just a joke. He’s a real romantic underneath it all. 

S: So have ye been texting all the time?

M: Yeah. Well I have anyway. Haha. Look. (Shows Sharon her phone). I texted him when I got home at 3am just to say I'd had an amazing night and can't wait to see him again. I'll read it out. “Hi baby. I had the best night ever. You’re amazing. I can’t wait to see you again and hold you and kiss you. Maybe you could come here to my house next time and meet my family? I'm so excited. Can’t wait to see you. I'm dying to tell all my friends about you. You’re fantastic. A man in a million. Night night my love. Sweet dreams. xxxxxxxxx”

S: Aw that's so romantic Mags. Did he text back?

M: He did eventually yeah.

S: What did he say?

M: He said “tnx yeah”. I texted him then again at 6, 6.15, 6.25, 7 and 7.10 and about 20 times since.

S: Did ya? And did he reply to all of them?

M: No luv but he’s very busy. Today’s his signing day in the dole. But the thing is Shaz, I love him. I know I said this too about the last three fellas but.....

S: Don't mind them hun. Fuckin pigs the lot of them. You're too good for them losers. I bet Horny….. eh, I mean Brian..... is the one.

M: Really Shaz?

S: Really Mags, I feel it in me bones.  Show me the selfie he sent ya again earlier doll.

M: Here ‘tis. He's gorgeous isn't he Shaz?

S: He's like an adonis Mags.

M: He is and look.... I know now that it sounds stupid but look at his smile Shaz?

S: He's not smiling at all though luv.

M: That's what I'm saying though. It's like..... I dunno...... He's intense you know? Cause he's thinking about me....... about our love you know?

S: Jesus I know what you mean doll. Show it to me again. (Looks at selfie). Oh fuck Mags you're right. That man right there? (Taps phone)..... That's a man in love doll. Right there.

M: Oh my god...... aaaaaaaahhhhh Shaz. (Squeals in delight)

S: Aaaaaaaahhhhh (catches Mags hands and they squeal and dance in circles).

THE BOYS

Jim: So how d’ya get on with that one off Plenty of Minge?

Brian: Haha. Plenty of Fish? Yeah. Grand.

Jim: She hot?

Brian: Yeah. I'd give her an 8.

J: Go way?

B: Yeah. Nice tits. A bit weird though.

J: Her tits were weird? Lobsided?

B: No no, they were grand. She was a bit of a spacer though.

J: Yeah?

B: Yeah. I dunno. She just stared at me for ages at one stage. It was weird. I think she might be epileptic or something. 

J:  Maybe she’s on drugs.

B: Yeah, I'd say she is. She’s a right looker though. I took her home.

J: Ya lucky bastard. (Looks at Brian’s phone). What's that pic Brian?  D'ya take a selfie? Ya big shit.

B: Yeah yer wan from last night wanted a new pic of me.

J: You look a right fuckin eejit in it. Why ya so serious in it?

B: Fuck off boy will ya. I was running late to sign on. Was brickin’ it in case I got docked me dole.

J: Ah fuck that man.

B: I know.

J: So ya gonna see yer wan Mags again?

B: Who?

J: Yer wan off Plenty of Minge?

B: Nah boy. She’s texting me all the time. Pain in the hole.

J: Fuck that man.

B: Yeah, fuck that. Nice tits though.