Swear to god, you cannot beat Cork northside humour.
Woman in front of me at till. Respectable looking. Lovely hair and clothes. Mid 60s. Sweet. Let's call her Agnes.
A: "Awful weather"
Me: "I know. It's rubbish."
(Meanwhile retail assistant places a closed sign at end of conveyer belt)
A: "She's closing the till. They work very hard here."
"They really do. Nice staff."
A: "Lovely."
(Woman approaches queue. Waits. Staff member says "sorry this till is closing")
A: "Jesus yer wan didn't even notice the closed sign. Some people! "
"Hahaha. I know"
(Staff member smiles, grateful for the comraderie)
(Second person approaches our queue not noticing closed sign)
(Agnes is looking cross. Stares at shopper)
Staff member: Sorry madam. This till is closed." (She now puts chain across to block access and readjusts closed sign)
A: "Ah jesus christ like, are people stupid or what? Can't they feckin read?"
Me: (In hysterics) "hahaha, they're all out there aren't they?"
A: -They are. Takes all sorts love. Haha. I shouldn't judge. But you know......
Haha."
(Third person approaches queue. Ignores closed sign and walks straight into chain blocking her access. I fear Agnes will spontaneously combust with apoplectic rage)
A: (Notices new 'intruder'). "Ah for fuck sake. D'ya ever see the likes of it? Huh? People are idiots. Absolute dopes. Poor girl trying to do her job. (Staff member trying to contain laughter now). Seriously who lets them out on their own? Fuckin eejits. See ya love. Nice chatting."
Me: (laughing hysterically). "See ya."
No comments:
Post a Comment