I wouldn't take that shit

Cork woman, Agnes, makes a customer complaint......

The complaints process - as it was reported to friends:

I wouldn't put up with that shit from anyone girls. I knows me rights. Them big multinational corporations, they think they can walk all over the likes of us. That blouse getting a rip in it after one wear. D'ya ever hear the likes of it? I wouldn't use it to wipe me arse. Flimsy low quality rubbish it was.

I marched in there to that shop and I gave them a piece of my mind.

Pal: Dead right too girl. What ya say to em?

I says "excuse me there girl. I need to speak to your manager at once. I've a white blouse here that I bought yesterday and tis in bits. I knows me rights and I'm not putting up with being sold some flimsy rag."

Pal: "What did she say girl?"

She runs off to get the manager. Sure she knows I mean business like. So the manager comes down anyway and I launch into my speech.

I says "Do you think I was born yesterday or what? You and them other managers in yer fancy suits and yer big cars, selling low quality products to the likes of me cause you think we're too stupid to know any better. You think you can walk all over us. I'm not leaving this store without a refund and an apology. I knows me rights. Goods have to be of merchantable quality. I read it in Woman's Own. I'm not budging from here til you give me a full refund."

He says "can I see your receipt please?"

I said I've been shopping in here for 20 years. Here's me bloody receipt. Give me a refund or I'm ringing Neil Prenderville on the radio.

Pal: "What happened then girl?"

Oh he hands over the refund girl. He was shaking in his boots. He knew he wasn't dealing with no eejit. I don't take that shit from anyone girl. I put manners on him so I did.

------------

The complaints process - as it ACTUALLY happened.

"Sorry there love, sorry now, you're probably very busy but I bought this blouse yesterday and there's a rip in the sleeve."

"Do you have your receipt?"

"I do. I have it here love. Thanks love. You're a pet"

"Exchange or refund?"

"I'll take the refund please. Thanks a million love. You're very good altogether. Sure twas me own fault. I was reaching up for the teabags in the top press and it ripped".

"No problem. Here you go".

"Thanks love. You're an angel. A saint. Thanks. Thanks. I'll get out of your hair now. Thanks again and god bless."